You find out for the first time that your child is on drugs

The following points from Drug Alert could be helpful in this case: (TNT added italics)

• Don't act in anger.
• Don't blame your child's friends or other persons for your child's problems. He made his own choices.
• Don't at first try to find out where he got the drugs. Concentrate on the fact that he is in trouble and needs assistance. Later you can try to discover the source. (make sure to find out what substance/s s/he is using)
• Don't accept promises to stop.
• Don't preach, judge, criticise, blame, punish or throw him out of the house.
• Don't try to solve his problems for him (but assist in the process of seeking help)
• Don't demand that he stop because you say so.
• Don't increase his feelings of guilt with the age old game of "How could you have done this to me!" It will only make matters worse.
• Don't lapse into self-pity.
• Don't launch into lectures on the melodramatic dangers of drugs and of hell fire. It will have no effect.
• Don't say he doesn't deserve treatment because his condition is self-inflicted. Many other conditions exist which are also self-inflicted for which treatment is given. For example, lung cancer as a result of smoking, a broken bone after having fallen on a cliff whilst mountaineering, etc.
• Don't take threats to commit suicide, lightly. Listen to him/her, be near him, stay with him. Assess the danger. How were you told about his wish to end his life? Did any ideas or reasons of depression surface? Inform a doctor or therapist, get further advice. Continue to be by him or near him if possible, until the feeling lifts. Feelings do change. If the threat remains serious, get help. Make sure there are no implements around with which he could injure himself eg. razor blades, tablets, rope, gun, etc. The fact that you spend time with him is proof of his value to you. Be there for him, but not because you are feeling guilty. It was not your choice. He has to take responsibility for his choices, but you can assist and support.
• If he goes through withdrawal symptoms you may need to be prepared. Know what to expect. Ask the doctor. Get the support of your close family and minister/pastor

You have to choose a rehab center for your child?

You have identified that your child has a problem with drugs. After counseling it was recommended that s/he is sent for rehabilitation. Now you are looking for a facility to help the child recover from drug abuse or dependency. In order to help you in this decision we will list some practical tips and questions:

• Is it the best option for the child's well-being to enter a rehabilitation center?
• What is the child's age and the best option? (In the case of younger children, will they be mixed with adults?)
• How secure is the center in terms of smuggling drugs into it?
• Are the parent/s involved and acknowledged in the program?
• Is it a stay-in or day care program?
• What are the costs? Are there any hidden costs like entertainment, medical treatment, etc.?
• Does your medical aid cover the rehabilitation? (If applicable)
• If detoxification is needed (Heroin), does the center have medical professionals to facilitate it?
• What is their stanse on the matter of replacement / maintenance therapy in heroin dependency? (1)
• Is the center registered with the authorities / are they registered?
• Do they accommodate children of your age?
• What is the track record of the center?
• Does the program include a follow-up after completion?
• What recreational facilities do they have included in the program, e.g. sport?
• Do they help the child deal with matters regarding his/her spiritual life? (E.g. To make peace with God and show them how to have a relationship with Him, which will keep them from a relapse).

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